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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ann Coulter: America's Political Bubonic Plague

I have decided to broaden the scope of my tirades, and my rants and raves will not be writing-specific anymore. I'm sure I'll share plenty of writing peeves but I realized I have far more rants and raves that go beyond the scope of writing. I also need to practice my editorial writing skills.

If I recall correctly from my Catholic school days, the Bible is famous for referencing plagues of catastrophic proportions. As defined by Webster's Dictionary, plague means "a disastrous evil or affliction." I think referring to Ann Coulter as a "disastrous evil or affliction" is apropos in the context of American politics. When thinking of the WORST possible plague, the Bubonic plague comes to mind. I know what you're thinking: comparing Ann Coulter to the Bubonic plague is highly complimentary. I didn't want to lambast her TOO much.

Coulter has been called a "political commentator" - commentator is stretching it. I really don't hear any commentating coming out of her obnoxious mouth. I just hear drivel and erroneous facts.

I thought Coulter needed a new title (other than crazy and evil) - "America's Political Bubonic Plague." America's Political Bubonic plague is here to stay and she's bringing her Nazi-esque craziness along with her. I think she and Octu-mom should hang out together. Neither one of them has a firm grasp on reality (or facts).

In order to understand this Right Wing "this one needs a straight jacket" shock jock-ess, let's delve into her background.

I dug around and found out that Coulter grew up in a Catholic family. That should be our first clue. The biggest controversy surrounding Coulter is her date of birth. Sometimes she says she was born on December 8, 1961 (I have not done her astrological chart yet so I'm not sure what afflicted planets are messing up her mental state). She also claims that her birth year was 1963 (ok, that is REALLY going to mess up my astrological predictions for her).

I wonder if she can't make up her mind about her actual date of birth, because she's really an alien from Jupiter and isn't allowed to give away her identity (thus, she gives conflicting birth years to throw off us humans on Planet Earth). Although, I heard that the life form on other planets is very intelligent - Ann Coulter would not fall under the intellectual category.

She was born into an upper middle class Catholic conservative family - her pops is a lawyer and her mom drinks Kool-Aid. Oh wait, that was a says she belongs to the"New Canaan Republican Town Committee" (same difference).

Coulter graduated from Cornell, has her law degree, started a conservative newspaper and trained at the National Journalism Center (although, she and I were not schooled in the same style of journalism - my journalism classes taught me about ethics; whereas, Coulter is devoid of ethics and any semblance of logical reasoning).

She is a blatant racist and thinks "Jews are people who need to be perfected." She also sides with White Supremacist groups and she calls most every male Democratic politico a homosexual. To quote a favorite saying of my cousin's, "Nice mouth, babe."

She really knows how to piss off those ladies from "The View." I'm surprised Barbara Walters didn't drop kick her. Coulter could have at least shown Walters a modicum of courtesy and respect. But why would she show respect to a well-known journalist who knows how to fact check? That would actually make Coulter somewhat human, and make Walters KNOW more than Coulter.

I love how Whoopi Goldberg ripped Coulter a new one when she blasted single mothers. She was called on the carpet by Goldberg and asked her if she was married or had kids. No and no. I guess Coulter has a lot of first-hand experience with single parenting and raising kids seeing as she doesn't have ANY kids. I was raised by a single mother and the last time I checked I wasn't incarcerated. According to Coulter, single mothers only raise deviants and criminals. Check it out.

By far, this is my favorite excerpt that clearly shows her idiocy. Hmmm, she did not pass Fact-Checking 101, that's for sure. I am also guessing she flunked U.S. History in high school.

"Some have disagreed with her "shoot-from-the-hip" style of commentary. They claim it makes her reckless with facts. For example, in a January 2005 interview with the CBC's the fifth estate, Coulter stated, "Canada used to be one of our most loyal friends and vice-versa. I mean Canada sent troops to Vietnam - was Vietnam less containable and more of a threat than Saddam Hussein?" She was countered by host Bob McKeown who said, "No, actually, Canada didn't send troops to Vietnam... Australia was there, not Canada." In a subsequent interview on C-SPAN, Coulter stated that while Canada did not send combat troops to Vietnam, thousands of Canadians had volunteered for the US military."

Coulter - reckless with facts? Never! I think she should be called "Coulter-pedia" because she really knows her facts. Coulter has also been accused of copyright infringement in her books due to questionable material that she passed off as her own.

Then we have America's Political Bubonic Plague going off on the 911 widows and claiming they are whiners who are sobbing their stories just to make money off their tragedy. Nice one, Witchy-Poo.

Here are some quotes that showcase (once again) her stupidity:

"I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am." (See above - I think she clearly proves that she's lacking grey matter.)

This quote is just downright disgusting - hello, someone forgot to take their crazy pills! Wouldn't that comment border on the verge of...oh, I don't know...perhaps insanity?

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."

The last quote sums up America's Political Bubonic Plague - she clearly is delusional if she thinks Cheney is a sexy, handsome man. Also, for the men out there who lose their temper, please note that you aren't "real" men, according to "Coulter-pedia." There may be hurricanes named after women, but hey crazy lady, you are America's Political Bubonic Plague. I'd rather be called a hurriance than the bubonic plague ANY day!

"Cheney is my ideal man. Because he's solid. He's funny. He's very handsome. He was a football player. People don't think about him as the glamour type because he's a serious person, he wears glasses, he's lost his hair. But he's a very handsome man. And you cannot imagine him losing his temper, which I find extremely sexy. Men who get upset and lose their tempers and claim to be sensitive males: talk about girly boys. No, there's a reason hurricanes are named after women and homosexual men, it's one of our little methods of social control. We're supposed to fly off the handle."


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