Wanted: Professional Client

Here's my first tirade to get this party started: I've been searching through C-list and freelance writing sites looking for writing gigs. I couldn't believe how the ads read and these companies had no clue what kind of writers they wanted or what they wanted from writers. I decided to create my own personals ad seeking a client who actually has a clue. Here's my snarky take on a job ad for a "good" client:

Wanted: Professional client who has a clue about marketing. Savvy company who didn’t drop their brains at the front door. Well-informed, well-spoken client who understands that just a well-written press release will not make you an overnight sensation. Flexible client who is willing to learn about media relations and how they need a PR professional to help them. Smart client who understands that good copywriting on their website will bring them more revenue and business. I am seeking these clients. If you are clueless, annoying and don’t want to learn from me, then hire someone else. Please contact me only on Tuesdays at 12:05 am (after a night of karaoke marathons) or every other Friday at 6:52 am (in between my yoga and t'ai chi sessions).