Coffee and Writers - Please Make a Java Donation, Coffeehouse Peeps

Here's my proposal to the coffeehouse owners of the world. I think all writers should get one free cup of coffee a day. There's an unwritten rule amongst freelance writers that we are the world's biggest java junkies. I know some of you are reading this and thinking, "But Therese-a-saurus, I am not a writer and I have a coffee addiction." This is true, but as writers we should be able to get something for free and since coffee is pretty much injected into our veins intravenously on an hourly basis, I urge coffeehouse owners to give us at least one cup of coffee a day for free.

Think about it, my fellow writers. It would be great promotions for the said coffeehouse AND they are doing a great service to the community by keeping us writers well-caffeinated during our crazy deadlines.

I strongly urge coffeehouse owners to unite and take a stand in this java crusade. Please support us hopped-up java junkies by donating one free measly cup of coffee to us. If you can't donate on a daily basis, once a week would help our cause.

If you care about the written word and don't want to see us writers slumped across our desk in a comatose "OHMYGOD the coffee just wore off" state as we scratch our eyes out and moan melodramatically to the Java gods: "For the love of Italian roast, cof-fee...need...stat...I...will...die." Please dig down deep into your Fair-trade, organic coffee lovin' hearts (and pockets) and do your part today. Help a fellow writer with his/her caffeine addiction. You will make a lasting difference in our lives. That's all it takes - just one cup of joe a day.

On that note, I need to refill my coffee cup and head over to my second office, Courthouse Coffee. They take pity on me as I sniff the brew bar and whine pathetically. I am not allowed to hold my tongue under the bar anymore to catch the drippings of left-over coffee. They can't afford the liabiilty (I might burn my tongue and there's the possibility of neck strain). My antics might also might freak out customers. "Oh look at that pathetic girl, how sad. I bet she lost thousands with her stock portfolio today. We really should buy her a cup of coffee."

Once again, I urge coffeehouse owners to suppor this noble java cause. It just takes one cup a day...one steaming cuppa java to make us writers happy, and give us the much-needed energy to pen...perhaps the next great American novel (or perhaps a few articles).

Welcome to Therese-A-Saurus' Tirades - A Communal Vent Fest for Writers

Welcome to my communal vent fest for writers. I would like to thank my friend, Dennis, for providing the inspiration behind the name of my blog. He originally deemed me "Theresaurus" (a clever combination of my given name, Therese, and "thesaurus"). He's quite the clever one. Thus, the nickname stuck and here I am with a blog solely dedicated to rants and editorial spewings.

I created this blog as a venue for writers to vent and share their tirades about the freelance writing world (or non-freelance writing world). I invite copywriters, journalists, grammarians, fiction writers, non-fiction writers, bourgeois poets and recreational writers to join my ranting crusade. If your rant is non-writing related, I may still consider it for publication.

Whether you pen for money or fun, I welcome you to submit well-crafted rants for publication (comments will be moderated - sorry, my blog won't read like Facebook's littered wall-jackings). If you have any examples of your recreational writing (analyses of male enhancement spam advertorials, movie reviews or celebrity sitings), please feel free to submit them. If I feel you are demented enough to contribute to my blog, I will add you to my delirious ramblings.

Each month I will give an award for the "Most Righteous Rant" related to a writing-specific tirade. Alas, the award will not be money or a trip to Vegas, but it will involve a well-crafted ditty created by a celebrity guest (and I use that word "celebrity" loosely).

So who is the woman behind the writer behind the woman behind this blog? I'm a coffee-swilling, wine-guzzling, sardonical, ironical, and vocab-addicted freelance writer and marketing consultant. I come from the Land of Non-Profit Fundraising...a land far, far away that was once filled with crazy hours and little pay (somewhat like freelance writing). I have a thing for magazine boyfriends and big girl Slurpees. If you don't understand my code words, that's a good thing. It's slang I learned in the Witness Protection Program.

My writing career began at age five when I wrote a Thanksgiving play where I forced my family to recite monosyllabic "can't we just all get along?" lines.

I still wake up in cold sweats thinking about the Herman Melville classic, Moby Dick (that was a dark period in my life). I fell deeply in literary love once and his name was F. Scott Fitzgerald. I also wanted to be an actress but my hopes were shattered when I was told I would make a great soap opera actress. I cried copious tears and did what every shattered thespian does - pay someone to give me a journalism degree. I moonlight as an editorialist during my off hours and am known to incense the tempers and crush the inflated egos of male business owners. "Hell hath no fury like a Therese-A-Saurus scorned."

Alas, I will not bore you further with my ramblings. I leave you now to peruse Therese-A-Saurus' Tirades.

Verbally Yours,
Therese-A-Saurus (aka Therese )